04 Wars Episode V: The Faculty Strikes Back
by Cosette Due
Summary: Not so long ago, in a school only a bus ride away...
1. Introduction

'04 Wars: The Faculty Strikes Back

Co-written by Shaba and Cosette

  


Not so long ago in a school only a bus ride away...

  


Following the destruction of the Main Office, the former sophomores, now juniors, found their organization, the Black Ribbons, displaced because their Room 30 location had been discovered. They relocated to the Freeze-Way, hoping that the treacherous Emperor Claire and Darth Prucnell, the new "Dean" after Darth Bolger had been shot into Canada, wouldn't be able to locate the ever rebellious juniors as they lay in wait, plotting their next attack...


	2. Our heroes return

Icicles shattered all around the feet of the Honk-Honk as Anakina rode through the thick fog of the Freeze-Way. Outside, the sun shone brightly and Liddy's army jogged around the track, panting in the late summer heat. But freezing water drops fell from the ceiling to splatter the junior's scalp.  
  
She was half-way to the convent when the goose collapsed, dropping Anakina four inches to the astro-turf.  
  
"The smart thing to do right now would be to get up and walk," Anakina noted aloud wryly, "but the dramatic thing would be to lie here and freeze to death."  
  
She pondered the situation a few more seconds before making herself comfortable against the Freeze-Way wall.  
  
Meanwhile, back at the base, Hanna Due was beginning to get worried about her companion.  
  
"You think she's okay, Chewie?" she asked her furry friend.  
  
"Grr-wah-ah-rrr." was the response.  
  
Hanna and Chewie walked over to the Check Station.  
  
"Lieutenant K'trina, has Commander Gymcutter checked in yet?"  
  
Lt. K'trina scanned her list. "No... she hasn't." She paused and looked up. "But it looks like she's right over there." She pointed down the hall to where Anakina lay.  
  
Hanna made a sheepish face but said nothing as she turned down the Freeze-Way. Narrowing her eyes against the cold mist, she called for the missing Commander.  
  
"Anakina! Anakina, where are you, kid?"  
  
"I'm right here, Hanna." mumbled an unamused voice from somewhere around Due's feet.   
  
"Oh." The bounty hunter looked down at her friend. "Um... if you're cold, we can cut open the goose."  
  
"Nah, let's just walk."  
  
Hanna shrugged. Anakina rose to her feet, and the two walked back to the base.  
  
"Anakina! Hanna! I was so worried!" Princess Gretchen exclaimed.  
  
"Uh... we were just over there." Anakina pointed out.  
  
"Oh... well... it felt like the right thing to say."  
  
Hanna left them and walked over to Chewkindy, who had been preoccupied by fixing the Millennium Penguin.  
  
"Is she done yet?"  
  
"Gra-wha-ahrrr!"  
  
"Well, hurry up!"  
  
"I'm going as fast as I can!" exclaimed the Wookie-girl suddenly, forgetting her native tongue in her fury.  
  
"Uh... okay." stammered Hanna, who was shocked.  
  
"So," said Gretchen, coming up behind Hanna, "you two are really leaving, aren't you?"  
  
"Yep. We'll leave as soon as the Penguin's fixed." said Hanna, forgetting her shock.  
  
"You said you'd stay last year."  
  
"Well, Chewie and I have had the summer to think it over. We feel it's be best if we left."  
  
***  
  
"You must take your new position very seriously, Darth Prucnell." Emperor Claire said menacingly.  
  
"Yes, m'lord."  
  
"Your first task as the new Dean is to aid in the destruction of the rebels."  
  
Darth Prucnell nodded and left. She proceeded from the Conference Room to the Attendance Office, where several seniors were searching for traces of the rebels.  
  
"Ma'am, we found something, but it might just be smugglers."  
  
The screen in front of her flashed to the Freeze-Way where many well-known rebels were standing just below a sign that read: Secret Rebel Base.  
  
"That's them." the Darth said firmly.  
  
"Ma'am, are you sure? We can't take chances."  
  
"There's a sign you idiot! Of course I'm sure! Send a squadron down there and finish then off."  
  
"Yes, ma'am." 


	3. Run away! Run away!

Good luck, kid.

Hanna said her last goodbyes to Anakina and the rest of the rebels when suddenly there came a loud buzzing throughout the base.

What the gwah? exclaimed Chewkindy, pausing in the final repairs of the Millennium Penguin.

We're being attacked! came Lt. K'trina's panicky voice over the speaker. The faculty has discovered our base! Everyone evacuate! Run away! I repeat! Run away!

Come on, Chewie, can't you go any faster?

Chewkindy stood up at the menacing height of five feet and a half inch and threatened her copilot with a wrench.

The two bounty hunters jumped into their desk, preparing to take off, when they felt twin jolts shake the Penguin. Chewkindy looked back and groaned.

What is it? asked Hanna, busy with maneuvering the desk out into the Freeze-Way.

Just go. said Chewkindy, holding her forehead and slouching.

Princess Gretchen and Chii-3P0 clung to the storage deck as the Millennium Penguin soared down the Freeze-Way before coming to an abrupt halt.

Chii-3PO peaked around the desk to see a fleet of Cheerleaders blocking the way to the Senior Wing.

Oh crap.

What'd you say? Hanna asked her sidekick, keeping her eyes on the enemies.

Chewkindy looked down to meet the frightened gaze of the sophomore, 

Oh, well that's exactly what we're knee deep in. Do we have anything to chuck at them?

Chewkindy reached behind the chair to the cargo deck and was handed something from one of the passengers. She brought her hand back up and found a roll of duct tape in her grip.

Perfect, Chewie! exclaimed the captain, glancing over at the sticky gray tape. Unroll it. 

With the help of Hanna, Chewkindy unrolled the princess' duct tape as the desk charged the Cheerleaders. The juniors threw one end at the skanks, circling them to wrap the tape around the whole troop. When they were immobilized, the Penguin took off through the Senior Wing before the faculty could arrive and catch them.

Suddenly, Princess Gretchen looked around. Where's Anakina? And Vienna?

Chewkindy jumped because she realized that her love wasn't there. Hanna jumped because she realized, for the first time since departing, that there were passengers besides Chewkindy.

Geez! Where'd you two come from? she exclaimed. Ah, it's too late to throw you off anyway...

Gretchen glared at her. You wanna try finding Anakina and Vienna now?

Hanna flicked on the radio. Okay! Okay! Anakina! Where are you, kid?

Are you going to say that through the whole story? Anakina inquired on the other end.

Yes, now where are you?

In the chapel inside the Convent.

Kid, you and Vienna have to get out now! The base is under attack!

Uh... okay, and where do you propose we...

Anakina was cut short by Vienna. Don't worry. We'll be fine. she said sounding bored and slightly annoyed.

All right. Hanna answered as the Millennium Penguin sailed down the Senior Wing.

  



	4. Mr Moore—da

"Come on, I'm supposed to take you somewhere." said Vienna Sausage with a lack of enthusiasm.

"Okay... where are we going?" Anakina paused, hoping for an elaboration.

"Room 10. Mr. Moore's."

Anakina blinked then whispered uncertainly, "Don't you mean 'Moore-da?'"

"I never saw the movie, kid." muttered the other junior listlessly. "You're lucky I'm even in this parody."

They walked down the Senior Wing, Anakina following the apathetic Vienna Sausage to Room 10. They stopped suddenly at a locker across from their destination, and Vienna began spinning the dial on the lock.

"What are you doing?" asked the bespeckled junior.

Vienna swung the door open with a loud squeak and said, "We'll need this." She pulled out a black sweatshirt with the bold letters "FCUK" across the chest. She slammed the locker shut again, and they finally entered Room 10. 

The room was eerily silent, except for an electrical buzz, lit only by the screen savers of a dozen computers lining three of the walls.

"Whose homeroom is this?" asked Anakina, staring fearfully at the skin of a strange creature hanging from a music stand at the front of the room.

Before Vienna could respond, however, a large, bearded figure popped up from behind the desk at the front of the room. It came menacingly toward them, snarling and grinding its teeth, reciting a poem.

"From ghouls and ghosties

And long-legged beasties

From things that go bump in the night..."

Vienna held up her sweatshirt, and the large figure, abruptly stopping, shielded his eyes with his arms.

"Ah! Away put your weapons! I mean you no harm!"

"Dude, it's me." said Vienna with familiarity.

The man peeked out from behind his arms. "Then get rid of that illegal sweatshirt!" he said angrily. "You know that's my weakness!"

Vienna balled it up and tossed it out into the hallway, allowing the teacher to relax.

"Moore-da, this is Anakina." she introduced, sounding as if she would rather be someplace else. "Anakina, this is Moore-da. There, am I done?"

"Hold on." Anakina grabbed the other junior's arm. "This is who's gonna teach me how to overthrow the faculty?"

"Oh, yea. Did I forget to tell you that? Whoops."

Anakina stood there looking confused for a moment.

"Don't worry," said Vienna, "he's a Black Ribbon, too. It's cool."

Meanwhile, Moore-da was looking back and forth between the two juniors, smiling and humming contentedly.

"I've known this guy since freshman year." Vienna went on. "He's kinda nuts, but he's a genius."

"Well, let's get started! Shall we?" Moore-da gestured to his desk, and the juniors followed him. Picking up his banjo, he said, "First, we need to relax. Get some rolly-chairs."

The juniors helped themselves to the computer seats, and Moore-da strummed the strings of his instrument

"Can you teach me to levitate stuff?" Anakina asked hopefully.

"Ah! But is levitation naught but an illusion?" countered Moore-da.

Anakina sat back again as the music continued, muttering to herself, "I'll take that as a 'no.'"

After a while, Moore-da set his banjo down again and said, "Now we will exercise our subconscious. To do so, we must free our minds. Lose all inhibitions. Transcend."

The juniors waited patiently for him to continue. When he was still silent, Anakina asked, "How do we do that?"

"Jigsaw puzzle!" said Moore-da excitedly, spinning them around in their chairs so that they were facing an empty table. He stood up and emptied a box of puzzle pieces across the table top. "Begin!"


	5. Plight of the Millennium Penguin

The Millennium Penguin sailed down the Senior Wing with two cheerleaders hot on its tail.

"Chewie, when can we make the jump to 5 mph?" asked Hanna impatiently.

"Grr-rrr-ah-ah!"

"What d'you mean the 5 mph isn't working?!"

"Um... that's bad." added Gretchen.

Hanna flung herself under the desk to try to fix its faulty motor. After pulling out and putting back several wires, Hanna felt the ship jolt. Hanna raised her head to the main deck.

"That wasn't a blaster jolt. What was that?"

"Rrr-chee-neh."

"Aww crud."

Directly in front of them were a few scattered freshmen. A biology class had just let out. Once the Penguin turned the corner, the hallway would be almost completely blocked with them.

Hanna looked back at the gaining cheerleaders and the Faculty Cruiser, a big teachers' desk that was pulled be four cheerleaders.

"You know what, Chewie?" Chewkindy looked at her apprehensively. "We're goin' in."

"But Hanna," Chii-3P0 chimed in, "the odds of successfully navigating a freshmen field are... really, really bad!"

"Never tell me the odds!" yelled Hanna.

Princess Gretchen smirked. "Thy said that in the movie!"

"The faculty wouldn't follow us in. C'mon, Chewie. We can out maneuver them."

Chewkindy growled something about not wanting to scratch up the desk but willingly turned the corner. Just as expected, the science hall was flooded with freshmen. Hanna gulped nervously and adjusted herself to take the controls.

***

One of the cheerleaders slowed her desk until it was adjacent with Prucnell's cruiser.

"Uh... Your Evilness?"

Prucnell sighed. "What?"

"Like the Millennium Penguin like went into the like freshmen field.

"That is not my concern."

"So you like want us to like go in there too?"

"Yes. I want that desk."

"Like whatever you say."

***

Smaller freshmen pelted the exterior of the Penguin as Chewkindy and Hanna did their best to avoid the bigger ones.

"Hanna, I think we're gonna die." said Gretchen.

"No, we won't." Hanna said absently. She took the opportunity to dive down the obscure hallway that led to the back of the Library. She set it down in Agnes' office. "Now, we wait."

***

"Like where'd they go?" the head cheerleader demanded. "A desk like that small couldn't have like vanished!"

"We like lost them, Commander."

The head cheerleader sighed. "I guess I'm gonna hafta tell Miss Prucnell."

***

"You what?!"

"We like lost them."

Prucnell sighed. "You're being stripped of your rank and are hereby sentenced to the Scrabble Club!"

The ex-cheerleader fainted.

Prucnell turned to another skank. "Commander, find me that desk."

"Yes, your like Scariness."

Prucnell looked at the cheerleaders pulling the desk. "Why are we going so slow?"

***

"We're gonna just hang on until they go upstairs."

Chewkindy had hooked a tow-cable to the Faculty Cruiser, and the Penguin was being dragged along behind it.

"Then where will we go?" asked the princess.

"Not sure yet. We should end up somewhere around the cafeteria..." Hanna flicked on the tablet computer they'd nicked off a teacher. "Well that's interesting..."

"What?" squeaked Chii-3P0

"Sandra Rodrizzian. She was in my freshman journalism class and my sophomore bio class. I wonder what she's doing up in the Balcony... That'd be a good place to hide, anyway."

"Grah-teh-wah? Chee-no-ahrr-weh."

Gretchen and Chii-3P0 simultaneously looked at Hanna for a translation.

"She said: 'Why not? We've got nothing else to lose." And she's right."

Gretchen sighed. "Whatever works."

The group waited until the Faculty Cruiser started to ascend the stairs to the Attendance Office. Chewkindy bit through the tow-cable and the Penguin sailed off through the Auditorium Lobby to the opposite staircase. 


	6. The Ways of the Techi

Moore-da's room was dark. The curtains were drawn and the only light in the room was from the television. Anakina and Vienna were learning the fine art of meditation through a dull video being shown by Moore-da.

Anakina's and Vienna Sausage's eyes were half-lidded and glazed over as they stared through the semi-darkness at the television screen. Moore-da had paused the movie for the six-thousand, four-hundred and seventeenth time.

"Note the use of the fish tank in this shot," he said, his keys jangling on his belt loop as he moved toward the screen. "Ben is separated from the party guests."

He unpaused the movie, then paused it again for the six-thousand, four-hundred and eighteenth time.

"And she enters. Notice the print of her dress."

"Oh, god. I can't take this anymore," groaned Anakina, holding her head in both hands.

"Don't complain," said Vienna, almost tonelessly. "This is the third time I've had to watch this with him. I could tell you how many hairs Dustin Hoffman has in his left nostril."

"How do we make it stop?"

Vienna replied by saying, "Mister Moore-da, did you know it was Anakina's birthday today?"

The teacher spun around. "Really?" Then he stalked around tot he front of the classroom, retrieved his banjo, and strummed a few chords. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to you."

Seeing the opportunity to make her move, Anakina asked, "Can we learn how to take down the faculty now?"

Suddenly, a strange man with pointed ears walked into the classroom.

"Um, I don't think there's any Vulcans in this flick, dude," said Vienna to the man whose ear points were apparently glue-ons.

"But I'm Doctor Spock," replied the man in a Harlem accent.

"This is a Star Wars parody, Mister Dunne, not Star Trek," Anakina told him helpfully.

The New Yorker's face fell, and he pulled off the ear points with a frown. "But I've been waiting for a cameo for the longest time..."

"Sorry," said the other three in unison.

Mister Dunne sighed. "I guess I'll go bowl now. Live long and prosper."

He left, and Moore-da turned back to the girls.

"I'll teach you the way of the Techi," he said with a mystical flourish of his arms.

"Cool," said Anakina. "Are we gonna use that 'new amazing technology' we keep hearing about?"

Moore-da burst into laughter. After several minutes, he said, "No, silly girl. We shall use the almighty Macintosh!"


	7. Sandra Rodrizzian

Hanna sighed. her fourth attempt to land on the balcony had failed. She turned to Chewkindy, frustrated.

"What are we gonna do? The photography class won't let us land. They said something about not enough room."

"Grr-rr-ee-chee?"

"I told them to shove it."

"Ah! Grah-ah-näh-nàh-nàh!"

"Is that the only thing you ever wanna do?" Chewkindy nodded. Hanna shrugged. "Ram the class it is."

"Cool!" Chii-3P0 exclaimed.

"Um... wouldn't that be bad?" the Princess inquired.

"Nah, they'll live," Hanna insisted as she and Chewkindy pushed random buttons and the Penguin began to speed up.

The Penguin then bowled through the photography class, sending several students flying in all directions. One student, in all the commotion, was defenestrated. Another was thrown from the balcony. The rest sustained minor bumps and bruises.

The Penguin's passengers, however, were just fine. The co-pilots landed the craft and proceeded to disembark.

Suddenly, down the hall from the dark room, the door to the gym locker room swung open and out strode a girl with very long, very curly, black hair: Sandra Rodrizzian. She wore a uniform standard of that of the Academy with her blazer draped over one shoulder. As she walked out of the door, a troupe of people followed her.

"You've got a lot of nerve coming up here," said Sandra, her eyes directed coldly towards Hanna.

"Hey... I didn't do anything..." protested Hanna before Sandra attacked her with a violent hug.

"Ah! I missed you, Momma Snape!" Sandra yelled, rocking Hanna's body back and forth.

"I missed you too, buddy..." stammered Hanna, deeply confused. "I... uh... saw you this morning..."

"I know," she said and suddenly she noticed Chewkindy. "Chewie!" she yelled, jumping on the small girl with a hug. "Ah! Why are you still with this loser?" she asked Chewkindy, motioning to Hanna. Chewkindy shrugged. Sandra then noticed the other two girls. "Wait! I know you!" she said, pointing to Gretchen, "You're in my homeroom!"

"Sandra, this is Princess Gretchen and Chii-3P0." Hanna introduced her companions, as Sandra hugged each of them in turn.

The group started to walk back down the hall towards the dark room, Sandra and Hanna chattering wildly.

"Well, managing the Dark Room has taken a lot more of my time than I had originally hoped…" sighed Sandra.

"You sound responsible," said Hanna with near disgust in her voice, as Chewkindy growled something that sounded suspiciously like "It's about time _one_ of you grew up." 

"When I heard you landed, I arranged for us all to have lunch together," stated Sandra with nervousness tinting her voice.

Hanna and Chewkindy looked at each other strangly.

"Grr-wah-cherner… Arrr-grah-chee-rrr-ni?"

Sandra laughed nervously. "What'd she say, Hanna?"

Hanna looked at her darkly. "You know what she said."

Gretchen tapped Hanna's shoulder. "What did she say?"

"She said, 'That's nice of you, but how'd you know we were coming?'"

Just then, Sandra opened the door of the Dark Room, and there, standing at the far end, was Darth Prucnell.

.


	8. The Vision

Mastering the ways of the Techi proved to be more challenging than Anakina had first expected.

Vienna Sausage sat at a desk in the corner, reading a paperback, as Anakina worked on one of the computers.

"Now copy and paste," said Moore-da, his voice musical as he floated around behind his new pupil. "You must connect all the columns of the story."

"This is so tedious," Anakina complained.

"Such are the ways of the PageMaker," the teacher replied. "Now, as you continue with the Almighty Macintosh," he brought over a box, opened it, and poured its contents onto the working space at Anakina's left hand, "you must also complete this puzzle."

"I just did a puzzle!"

"You must learn to multitask!"

Grudgingly, the blond girl reached for the jigsaw with her left hand while moving the mouse and typing with her right. For a while, the only sounds in the room were computer-buzzing, jigsaw-fitting, key-and-mouse-clicking, and page-turning.

Moore-da had pranced over to inspect Vienna's book when Anakina gasped and said, "I see my friends—"

"No, you don't," the teacher assured her.

"Yes, I do. They need me—"

"No, they don't."

"Yes, they do." She came out of her semi-trance and turned to ask him, "Am I done now?"

"Did you print you news page?" he asked smugly.

Suddenly, the printer beeped to life behind him and began to process letters as Anakina stood up.

"Come on, Vienna," she instructed. "We gotta go."

"Where to?" asked the other junior in a not-that-I-really-care tone and dog-eared the page she was reading.

Anakina answered her, with some degree of effective drama, "The cafeteria balcony."

The two girls hurried out of the room to a banjo rendition of the Star Wars theme song.


	9. What Class Rings Are Really Meant For

At the end of the Dark Room stood Darth Prucnel with the evil bounty hunter, Feta Cheese, at her side.  
  
"Please, do join us," said Prucnel calmly, motioning for all to sit.  
  
"I had no choice. She showed up before you," Sandra tried to explain to Hanna who simply glared as they sat.  
  
"Miss Due," began the Darth, " you have charges against you of uniform violations and cutting class. Now, I find, as I suspected, that you are part of the rebellion."  
  
Hanna raised an eyebrow as if to say, "yea, what's your point?"  
  
Prucnel continued. "You are being suspended."  
  
Hanna stood up. Gretchen gasped, and Chewkindy bit Chii, who hit her.  
  
Two seniors came out from the shadows, grabbed Hanna and dragged her from the room. Chewkindy lept to her feet and let out a fierce Kookie shriek.  
  
Prucnel stood up and strode out of the room with the rest of the group at her heels. They stopped outside where Hanna was already tied up.  
  
"What are you gonna do to her?" Sandra demanded.  
  
"Something that has worked for ages with new, defiant juniors," Prucnel paused dramatically, "a class ring."  
  
At this point, Chewkindy was fed up and began biting everyone who happened to be standing within a three foot radius of her. Hanna ran over to her.  
  
"Hey!" she started, "Hey, listen to me, Chewie!" Chewkindy stopped. "Listen, Chewie. You've gotta take care of the princess now!" Chewkindy nodded and growled in incoherent whimpers. "I'll be fine Take care of the princess."  
  
Chewkindy nodded. Hanna walked over to an empty desk where the two seniors were waiting to bind her to it.  
  
"Hanna!" Gretchen yelled suddenly, "You're cool!"  
  
Hanna looked at her solomnly. "I know."  
  
Then one of the seniors placed a school ring on Hanna's finger, and for a moment, it looked as though Hanna was in a great deal of pain. Her face then paled and she slumped forward face-down on the desk.  
  
Prucnel turned to Feta Cheese. "Now you may take her."  
  
"This was not part of the deal!" protested Sandra.  
  
"Pray I don't alter it any further," said Prucnel roughly.  
  
Feta turned to the seniors. "Take her to my desk."  
  
They shoved Hanna's lifeless body into the cargo hold of Feta's desk, which Feta then boarded and took off in. Prucnel then walked down the hallway towards the gym locker rooms for reasons no one could fathom.  
  
"Well," Gretchen said, fiddling through her bag, "this is a good time to do this." She took out her duct tape and roped it around Sandra.  
  
Sandra sighed. "I guess I deserved that."  
  
"No," said Chewkindy, forgetting her native tounge, "you deserve this." She bit Sandra hard.  
  
"Ow! I think you left a mark!"  
  
"Good!" Chewkindy yelled. With no one to translate for her, the wookie-girl was left to communicate in English.  
  
Everyone suddenly stopped and stared at Chewkindy. They'd never heard her speak in English before.  
  
"What?" asked Chewkindy, a little flustered that everyone was making a big deal out of nothing.  
  
"You can speak?" Gretchen was bewildered.  
  
"Uh... yes," Chewkindy said slowly.  
  
"Cool," said Sandra softly.  
  
There was a strange, awkward pause of silence before Chii-3PO spoke.  
  
"So what do we do now?" asked Chii-3PO.  
  
"I guess we wait for Anakina," suggested Gretchen.  
  
"How do you know she's coming?" Chewkindy inquired.  
  
"Well, aside from the fact that she's running up the stairs right now, I sent her pictures of us in trouble with my digital camera."  
  
All stared at her incredulously while Anakina and Vienna came up the stairs of the Mezzanine. 


	10. The Face OffLast Chapter

Anakina and Vienna ascended the stairs to the Mezzanine just in time to see Feta Cheese loading Hanna into the cargo hold of her desk. they watched, one in horror, one with apathy, as Feta's desk zoomed off.  
  
"Who was that?" Anakina asked, staring wide-eyed after the desk. "What is she doing with Hanna? Where are all the others?"  
  
Vienna thumbed through a script and replied, "Um... I think they're gonna cast Hanna in bronze and some giant slug thing is gonna put Gretchen on a leash..."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Hold on... none of this sci-fi crap makes any sense to me... Ooo, I think I get to serve drinks in the next one..."  
  
"Next what?"  
  
Vienna flipped a few more pages before looking up and sarcastically muttered, "My spidey senses say Gretchen and Chii are over there."  
  
Anakina looked up, and there, standing before her, were Chii-3PO and Princess Gretchen. Standing further behind them was a dejected looking Sandra Rodrizzian, who was still bound by duct tape. Chewkindy jumped on Vienna and bit her affectionately.  
  
Vienna yelped in pain and pushed Chewkindy off her. She then flipped a few more pages. "We're all supposed to leave and you," she pointed to Anakina, "are supposed to fight Miss—" she sighed, completely exasperated with the situation, "I mean 'Darth' Prucnel."  
  
Princess Gretchen clapped her hands together. "Sounds good to me! Let's go."  
  
The five started to walk away leaving Anakina quite baffled. But she wasn't quite alone, for Darth Prucnel swept through the fire exit at the end of the storage hallway straight ahead of Anakina. The junior glanced behind herself to her friends, but they were already getting-the-hell-out-of-there.  
  
"Thanks a lot, guys!" she souted after them, then turned back to face the Dean of Students. "I guess this is the appropriate moment to say, 'Bring it!'"  
  
The Dean moved towards Anakina quickly in long strides and stopped several paces away from her. Dramatic western music could be heard from the auditorium as the band practiced for an upcoming performance.  
  
"I've waited a long time for this," Prucnel said, eyeing Anakina.  
  
"Waited for what? What are you talking about!" exclaimed Anakina. In a desaperate attempt, Anakina threw her body into a nearby storage closet door, causing it to open and all the books to fall out. Anakina grabbed one and chucked it at Prucnel.  
  
Prucnel picked one up and threw it back. It caught the edge of Anakina's glasses and her glasses flew off her face and over the edge of the Mezzanine.  
  
"No!" screamed Anakina as though she were in pain. "I'm blind!"  
  
"Anakina," started Prucnel in an over-dramatically deep voice, "you are an important asset to this school. Leave the rebels and join us!"  
  
"No!" Anakina still sounded pained. "I'll never join you!" She climbed clumsily onto the ledge of the Mezzanine.  
  
Prucnel then held her hand out as if she were Hamlet holding Yorik's skull.   
  
"Anakina," she said slowly and deliberately, "I am your father... I mean... wait... I got caught up in the moment..."  
  
Anakina had heard quite enough and jumped off the edge of the Mezzanine. She landed with a thud, and she heard several screams around her. She looked up to see that she was on top of the Millennium Penguin. The screams had come from four out of the five girls.  
  
Vienna merely shrugged. "I told you to drive this way. I read the script. I told you guys she was going to fall. You act surprised!"  
  
"Are you hurt?" asked Gretchen, ignoring Vienna's comments.  
  
"I'm fine, I just lost my glasses."  
  
"Well, then it's a good thing I picked these ones up as we left," said Chii-3PO, producing Anakina's glasses from her pocket and handing them to Anakina.  
  
Anakina put on her glasses. "Let's go find Hanna," she said stoically as the Star Wars Theme song poured out of the auditorium.  
  
Gree-agh-a-way... (TO BE CONTINUED...) 


End file.
